Love and Friendship

Friendship and love are two things so close in nature that more often than not that they intertwine. Some people become part of who we are, some become family, and sometimes they become distant memories.
Love is one of those things that never could truly be described. It’s a feeling so joyous that it is greater than any drug. It can also be as deadly. Either from overdose or having it torn away from you.
Friendship is yet another indescribable word because it can have so many meanings. To me a friend is someone who has your back no matter what. A friend is someone who you can call when you need someone to talk to and they will answer. A friend is someone who is there for you even when your own family won’t be. Above all a friend is someone who will pick you up when you fall.
But then sometimes, something amazing happens and you find love in friendship. Not necessarily the intimate kind but a feeling of closeness that is inseparable. No matter what hell fires may come your way, they will walk through the flames with you and help you conquer your demons and accept the darker parts of your soul.

I want to fix it.

The silent screams I cry. I’m so tired of trying to hide. Anymore my pride hurts. I can never do right. I try and try with all of my might and somehow it still ends in a fight. Every night I feel the light fading. What am I trading it for? What can I do? I never have wanted to hurt you. I can’t say anything more true. What has happened to us? I love you. What can I do? Nothing is working like it was planned. We are supposed to be invincible. Supposed to be unbreakable. But I feel our bridge is crumbling, one stone at a time. I can feel them splashing in the dark water below. Each drop on my skin feels like poison eating away at me. If the bridge breaks can we swim?

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The phoenix

There once was a girl. She lived in a dungeon of frost and ice. She was alone and afraid of the world. One day she noticed a light in the darkness. As she moved closer, she couldn’t understand what she was seeing. It was a flame. The light was dazzling. It was so bright she began to feel heat. Slowly she moved closer. When she got close enough, she took a leap of faith and touched the fire. When she did, everything changed. Time stood still. The world as she knew it was different. The planets realigned and the heavens sang out. She became a Phoenix. Never to be held in her dungeon again. She kissed the stars and swam in the bluest of oceans. She became one with herself and the world.- Ashley Mae

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Thoughts of them

I love being a mom. It’s the reason I get up in the mornings. They are my reason to be. They are the reason I can’t sleep at night. They frustrate me, they make me happier than anything in the world. They made me grow up, they keep me young. I always tell myself I would do anything for a babysitter but after being away from them for more than two hours I miss them. When they are not home I feel lonely and lost. I am constantly worrying about what they are doing and if they are safe. Then I start thinking about the day when they will leave home for good and I can’t imagine what my own mother went through after my little brother moved out. Then I remember that one day, we will be forever separated. That feeling terrifies me. To think that one day I might wake up and they won’t be there. So every minute of every day I stay happy. When my toddlers are about to drive me straight to the asylum, I smile. I know every second of every minute is a joyous one because I can still be there to guide them through that tantrum or unknown feeling. I am at peace with being the best mother I can be.

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