I hear his car pull in. My heart begins to race and my palms are sweaty. I know he’s coming for me. The next few minutes are agonizing. He comes in screaming. The door slams so loud the walls shake in terror. Fear is clouding my brain. I have lost my train of thought. He reaches towards the closet and my spirit sinks. Please anything but that. He screams some more but I can’t comprehend what he is saying. I’m too afraid to think. He snatches my arm and I feel the familiar pain. Once, twice, three times. Again and again. My wrist begin to bleed. I don’t cry out, I begin to laugh. I laugh like I’ve heard the funniest joke in the world. Apparently he doesn’t find it funny. He grabs my hair and his fist finds my face. I taste the floor. Darkness begins to consume me. At least in my darkness, I am free….. if you or someone you know is suffering through child abuse, you can call 1-800-422-4453…. it’s the ChildHelp national child abuse hotline.
The pain is ripping through me down my whole right side. I try to hide from it and get some sleep but that’s a joke. I hate my body but it is mine. It’s hard always telling people that I’m just fine. Especially when I just want to cry. It brings me to my knees. He will pay if I ever find him. That day I will get vengeance. He will know the pain.
He will know it intimately. The nightmares he has plagued me with have nothing on what will be his reality.