Down. Down. Down. It goes deeper than I could have known. Forever worse than the time before. It won’t let me sleep. I wish it would leave. In the mornings it smiles at me with its wicked grin. At night it whispers its songs in my ear. Every note is an old fear. Every lyric is something I want to forget. Sometimes I beg and plead. Sometimes I am silent and cry. No matter how hard I try, it won’t leave me alone. The monster creeps in every chance it gets. In my dreams it plays memories and it laughs as if all of it’s hearts sinister desires came true. I try not to let it get to me. I know my emotions are its biggest tool. But I can be foolish and let its sorrow surround me. That is when I begin typing because as I begin to let the words flow, the feelings begin to lessen and I begin to grow numb. That is when it sulks away until next time.
Boredom eats away at me. I need to keep my mind and hands busy. I have to be forever moving. When I slow down to catch my breath, darkness begins to creep. It’s tendrils slowly climbing up my limbs. It may feel me with passion but at what expense?
My thoughts begin to twirl and swirl; moving faster with each memory. So I begin to write so I can set them free. Sometimes I wonder how they came to be. When I put my thoughts into words they are never tame. They come to me like a well fed flame. They flitter and dance so fast I can barely get them out and the ones I don’t ,dance around and around like ballroom ghosts. -Ashley Mae